I do not love you except because I love you

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it’s you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

I like this poem very much especially the first line because of the paradox of love and hate in relationships. It is just complicated. The poem conveys that when you love someone deeply yet are not returned the same favour, you will hate that person as well. However, the poem goes on to say that love prevails/overrides hate finally because of the passion of love itself.

Passers-by

On the phone
we leave some words,
some messages.
On the road
we leave some footsteps,
some traces
under the Sun
we cast our empty shadows.
We pass each other by,
brush off each other’s shoulders
and continue our journey road.
I get off and walk away to my workplace
You get on the next train to your next station.
I see you
You hear me
but we don’t know each other.
We say goodbye to some old friends
and say hello to some new people.
We all come and go
and let things pass
in our everyday life.

24/2/2018

Blackberry Eating by Galway Kinnell

I love to go out in late September
among the fat, overripe, icy, black blackberries
to eat blackberries for breakfast,
the stalks very prickly, a penalty
they earn for knowing the black art
of blackberry-making; and as I stand among them
lifting the stalks to my mouth, the ripest berries
fall almost unbidden to my tongue,
as words sometimes do, certain peculiar words
like strengths or squinched,
many-lettered, one-syllabled lumps,
which I squeeze, squinch open, and splurge well
in the silent, startled, icy, black language
of blackberry — eating in late September.

I like this poem very much because it plays with the sounds of words like “black blackberries”, “to eat blackberries for breakfast”, “the black art of blackberry-making”, “many-lettered, one syllabled lumps”, “squeeze, squinch, splurge”, “black language of blackberry” etc. When I read the poem aloud, I feel the oral and auditory experience of language. The poem compares words to blackberries. So eating the blackberries is like orally tasting language itself. But sometimes language could be quite “prickly” because it is like black magic which is not made for good. And there are peculiar words which you have to taste thoroughly in order to understand its unusual quality.

發現經典:《她的第一次舞會》(Her First Ball)

你還記得你人生的第一次嗎?第一次公開考試、第一次戀愛、第一次失戀、第一次與好朋友決裂又復合⋯⋯在不同的人生階段,我們也會有很多第一次,那些第一次給你甚麼感覺?有時我們或許會聽到大人訓示我們,「係咁㗎啦」、「講過你又唔信」又或者「呢個世界就係咁現實㗎喇」。他們語重心長的評語會否影響你去選擇、嘗試或參與你自己的人生,對自己某些經歷的看法?我哋成日話要有一手信仰,究竟如何看待別人對你某些重大選擇、決定和方向的負面評價(遭潑冷水)而不至被弄得灰心喪志?

現代短篇小說家凱瑟琳・曼斯菲爾德(Katherine Mansfield,1888-1923)的《她的第一次舞會》(Her First Ball) 這個短篇故事描述一位滿懷興奮的少女興致勃勃參加人生第一次盛大的舞會卻慘被一位年長而肥胖的男士的智慧言語潑冷水的遭遇。故事講述一名鄉下少女(country girl)Leila跟隨表姐們一起參加舞會,對屬於她人生第一次的舞會感到異常興奮和期待。Leila對城市生活及舞會(city life & ball)當中各種的人和事感到極其新鮮,陌生又刺激,對身邊的事物充滿各種各樣的幻想,(幻想出租車的座駕枕墊是她即將會面的一名陌生少年男子的西服袖子),對周圍環境大感興趣。可是她曾經懇求媽媽打電話給表姐們拒絕赴會,因為她害羞,試圖逃避陌生的人和事。當Leila向舞伴表示這是她第一次的舞會,她仍在開始沉醉地感受著一切之時,她的舞伴卻不太感興趣。後來,一位年長的男士邀請Leila跳舞,卻直言Leila將會如同站在旁邊的老女人一樣變得肥胖,且看著自己的女兒參加舞會,被一些討厭的男人親吻,自己卻沒有人想親吻,她也不會再對舞會心存任何美好的幻想。他這樣一說,戳破了Leila對舞會的幻想。聽後,Leila悲從中來,開始感到失落,她嘀咕著:她的第一次舞會是否也是她的最後一次?為何快樂不能長久?想著想著,她想停下來,甚至不想繼續參加舞會,寧願逃避現實不去參與,只想待在旁邊觀看別人參與,心裏想著返回自己的家鄉(country home),那個一直熟悉不變的環境。男士說道:”You mustn’t take me seriously, little lady.” 當奏樂再次喚起她時,一位少年男子邀請Leila跳舞,Leila再次投入舞會當中,這樣她也忘記那位年長的男士了。

在被潑冷水後,心情受糟蹋後,你會像Leila一樣想去逃避成長的痛苦嗎?還是好像她最後遇上另一些人令她感到成長的快樂,再次全情投入自己的人生呢?你又如何看待屬於你自己的第一次舞會呢?

(轉載自《大專基督徒日報》https://collegechristiandaily.wordpress.com/2018/02/08/發現經典:《她的第一次舞會》(her-first-ball)/ )

Scream

I write this poem based on the painting ‘Scream’ by Edvard Munch:

Walking down a moor
the sky is bright red gloom
looming over my head
I take the bridge which leads me to the end
Where nobody is out there.
Utterly desolate,
Gazing into the emptiness of the wasteland,
Shriek echoes in the abyss.
Madness runs through my veins.
Darkness begins to eat up the open sky.
I can’t breathe anymore when panic fills my mind.

written on 29/1/2018

La Beauté

La Beauté
Je suis belle, ô mortels! comme un rêve de pierre,
Et mon sein, où chacun s’est meurtri tour à tour,
Est fait pour inspirer au poète un amour
Eternel et muet ainsi que la matière.
Je trône dans l’azur comme un sphinx incompris;
J’unis un coeur de neige à la blancheur des cygnes;
Je hais le mouvement qui déplace les lignes,
Et jamais je ne pleure et jamais je ne ris.
Les poètes, devant mes grandes attitudes,
Que j’ai l’air d’emprunter aux plus fiers monuments,
Consumeront leurs jours en d’austères études;
Car j’ai, pour fasciner ces dociles amants,
De purs miroirs qui font toutes choses plus belles:
Mes yeux, mes larges yeux aux clartés éternelles!

Variations on La Beauté @ Flowers of Evil by Charles baudelaire:

My beauty, oh mortals! Come and see my beloved who is beautiful
I look over everywhere to find thee
Whose beauty is my inspiration for poetry
My love for you has no exit but eternally.

I ride the Sphinx
Under the coverage of June night
My hand is knotted with yours
The lines of the poem are our jewels
What a pleasure to read the rise and fall of the syllables.

We write poems with attitude
To build monuments of our tenacity
To remember our first day of love in January.

You open me a door to the great heaven
Which mirrors its eternal happiness
I will love you and write you poems for whatever reason.

Based on the first version of the collaboration with my classmate, I rewrite it to the second version.

written on 12/2/2018

My baby nephew (miming W. H. Auden’s stop all the clocks)

Count down the date
Check out the hour
Wait for the breaking water
Call the cab and with gusty puff
Push into the delivery room
Let the nurses come.

Let the midwives circle round the bed
Declaring in the room that He is Coming
Urge the mother fight against the pain
Calm the beating sweats and nerves of the Dad-To-Be.

He is my Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter.
My bearing week and my expecting month
My day, my laugh, my eyes, my breath
I thought that my love would last for ever.

The labour is done now: everyone screams
Cry the baby who dissolves our hearts
Wrap around the darling and tuck him in
For nothing now can ever compare to him.

Generation Y

He is a handicapped dancer in the movie
His one-legged body swing and swirl, twist and twirl
up and down, up and down,
round and about
swiftly in the air
They call it breaking
His passion fills the clapping hands in the cinema
He never regrets dancing to his own beat
To the extent that two legs become one
Still springing and bouncing here and there
here and there
But when we got out
People just forget him like a long lost legend
He is destined to belong to the street
where nobody recognizes him.

This is a crude piece of poem inspired from watching 《狂舞派》

written on 13/11/2013

Famous by Naomi Shihab Nye

The river is famous to the fish.

The loud voice is famous to silence,
which knew it would inherit the earth
before anybody said so.

The cat sleeping on the fence is famous to the birds
watching him from the birdhouse.

The tear is famous, briefly, to the cheek.

The idea you carry close to your bosom
is famous to your bosom.

The boot is famous to the earth,
more famous than the dress shoe,
which is famous only to floors.

The bent photograph is famous to the one who carries it
and not at all famous to the one who is pictured.

I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.

I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.

This poem conveys that we are famous to others because of what we could/should do. Even though the matter may seem insignificant or routine, it still does matter to a certain extent.

Hidden by Naomi Shihab Nye

If you place a fern
under a stone
the next day it will be
nearly invisible
as if the stone has
swallowed it.

If you tuck the name of a loved one
under your tongue too long
without speaking it
it becomes blood
sigh
the little sucked-in breath of air
hiding everywhere
beneath your words.

No one sees
the fuel that feeds you.

Submitted by R. Joyce Heon

This poems talks about the destruction power of time. A fern under pressure in a span of time would disappear. Your memory of a loved one could be lost if he/she is not remembered/spoken. Something that is hidden away could be lost forever. In Hong Kong context, if Hong Kong history and Hong Kong story is not written, narrated, retold or passed onto our next generation, our collective memory could be lost one day. And, our Hong Kong identity would be lost as well. That is exactly when mainlandization becomes successful in Hong Kong. Therefore, Hong Kong people should keep telling Hong Kong story to keep our Hong Kong identity alive so that our city will not be dying out.